Conversation On a Rooftop
by mat528
Summary: Batgirl and The Riddler have a little talk. (Sorry, but I suck at summaries.)


CONVERSATIONS ON ROOFTOPS

DRAFT TWO

A/N: Trying to figure out where I want to take this story; however, this is a kernel of an idea I had about the Riddler and Batgirl having a conversation on the rooftops of Gotham.

Use any blueprint for the pair that you want, though my favorite blueprint for Batgirl is still Yvonne Craig (R.i.P.). The Riddler is a little harder. My one is not quite Gorshen, and he's not Jim Carrey, nor is he the David Tennant art that's on Deviant Art. He's somewhere in between I guess.

The Riddler deftly swung onto the rooftop of the Gotham National Bank at dusk that day. A quick scan told him that everyone had gone home, and the bank would be easy pickings for a master criminal like him. His lips curved with a devilish smile and he started to go in search of the alarm system's fuse box when an attractive sight caught his eye.

Batgirl was on the roof too, her curvaceous butt sticking in the air as she leaned over a ledge, her arms resting on the bricks. She looked contemplative...thoughtful. He found himself wondering what was going through that pretty brain of hers. With her svelte figure and her intellect—for she had eluded his elaborate traps for her several times—she presented a _very_ tantalizing view.

He could look at her a moment longer, but he knew he wanted to get some quick cash for his dwindling reserves. Business was business. Besides, he told himself, leaning over the ledge like she was, looking at the city was not exactly smart.

He'd never get another opportunity like this.

His mind made up, the Riddler crept over to where his prey was standing. Batgirl was not paying any attention to him. He didn't know whether to be disappointed or insulted. Coming ever closer, the felon was about to strike when he saw a gloved hand reach up to her face to wipe away something. Reaching for his question mark cane, he stopped when he heard a sniffle.

Batgirl was crying?

Normally, he didn't think crying was necessary. Forget about that response to a problem. If something was bothering you, deal with it right away or put it out of your mind like it never existed. But, he supposed she was like every other woman of his acquaintance.

They were all wells of tedious emotions a man could do without.

Still, as rare as this chance to hurt or kill her was, he just couldn't bring himself to attack a foe when she was ignoring him.

"Hey, Little Bat," he said.

After waiting a few seconds, he yelled, "hey, little bat!" Still nothing.

Now the Riddler was getting angry. Why was she still deliberately ignoring him? The streetlights that had come on shed some illumination on the bottom of her face, confirming what he already knew. She wasn't paying him any mind because of her blasted tears! Using the tip of the cane, he tapped her on the shoulder. She spun around.

"What are you doing up here?" She asked, trying to keep from sniffling further.

He shrugged, putting down his cane so that it hit the asphalt. "I just _love_ the view up here!" He took a big breath, adding, "So wonderful. A lovely place to...".

"Rob?" She guessed. When he looked affronted, she said, "It's not that hard to guess since this is the roof at Gotham National Bank."

"Well, it's a free country, isn't it?" He protested. "If I want to peruse my surroundings, I can." He leaned in closer to her...though not too close. "By the way," he lied, "I wasn't thinking of robbing this bank. I wouldn't _dare!_ Not with the Bat and the Brat around."

"Suuurreee..!" She said. Batgirl was about to say something else that was snarky, or a little sarcastic, but she remembered how sad she was and said quietly, "Go away, Ed. I'll fight you another day."

He frowned beneath his domino mask, wondering what exactly was making her so depressed when he saw an object beside her on the rooftop. It was a small container of ice cream. His alert eyes told him it was a container of rocky road ice cream.

 _Uh, oh._

**Question,** he asked himself, **what kind of girl eats rocky road ice cream in the middle of the fall? Answer: a girl with a broken heart.**

He thought about all the possible reasons. There wasn't any news about her coming to blows with the Batman or Robin...the papers would have said something. Nor was there any smoke being blown at police headquarters about any fights with the Commish. His spies had nothing to report on that front.

So, if it wasn't her dear old dad and it wasn't the flying rodent who was _like_ a dad, who was it, other than...another man?

**Nah,** he concluded. **She wouldn't be taking up with some home-by-eleven, boring sort of chap, would she?" The more Riddler thought about that, the more he realized that it must be true.

"Well, that's not fair!" he muttered.

It was all right for him to ruin her day, but for someone else to hurt the little bat so she couldn't fight with the Riddler and give him his shits and giggles was just being _rude!_

The right to do with her as he pleased was all _his!_ , his mind was crying. He had to get this train that was her life back on its tracks right away!

"Look, whoever he is, he isn't worth it," he said matter-of-factly.

She regarded him with her tear stained eyes.

"What makes you say that?" She wanted to know.

He gave her a look and said dryly, "With all the molls I've had l'd like to think I'm somewhat of an expert on the female psyche."

Batgirl drew back a little and said incredulously, " _you?_ "

The Riddler said confidently, "Yeah!"

Studying her a moment, his gloved hand stroking his long chin, he declared, "Your man broke up with you because you couldn't give him what he wanted. He wanted you...all of you! Your free time, your needing him, your eternal devotion, but you couldn't commit."

Batgirl was speechless. He was so close to the mark it was amazing! She tried to shrug, but she just said sheepishly, "Well...".

"Take it from me: don't get in too deep in this business," he advised. "It's much better to be foot loose..." he twirled his cane for emphasis, "and fancy free. Have your dalliances, but don't fall in love with anyone. You're Batman's girl. That's it, nothing else." He hit the ground with his cane.

Batgirl put her hands on her hips. "And what do you know about me and Batman?" She cried hotly. "I'm not with him! Not like that!"

The Riddler was inwardly pleased to hear that, but he wanted more of a response from her. "'Can't really blame you there. Mr. Tall, Dark and Brooding is a bloody drip! I'm much more _fun!_ "

Now Batgirl was steamed...and also disgusted. Crossing her arms, she countered back, "As if I'd ever consider going with you! And, he's not a drip!"

The Riddler shrugged, saying, "If you say so." He looked at the angles of the taller buildings and snagged a telephone cable between two with his cane. "Me, I'm actually hoping I'm right about you and Dreary Tights. I think you're perfectly suited to each other."

"OOOHHH!" She shouted.

He reached out and stroked her chin. The Riddler then jumped up and, after testing the telephone wire to make sure it was steady, began his downward slide and said, "See ya!"

It was a few seconds before she realized he was making his escape.

"Hey! Come back here!" She yelled.

Seconds later, he swung back, asking, "So, miss me?" He landed in front of her.

Before she could answer, his cane whipped out and flipped her. She landed on her butt; then, she aimed a well-placed kick to his jaw. He groaned a little, then grabbed her leg, flinging her off. Between kicks, she responded with a breathless, "Would. Never. Miss. _You!"_

He winced, but was smiling as much as was possible. "Yeah...you...would."

He tried punching her, but she caught his hand and said, "Not ever. I'd miss the _Joker_ before I'd miss you."

The Riddler snarled, "Now that's hitting below the belt." He proceeded to do just that to her. "Mr. Jokesy's got nothing on me!"

"Oh, no?" Batgirl said, her other problems temporarily taking a back seat. "He's got a hundred times more laughs a minute than you have!"

"Yeah, and you would literately die giggling to his jokes!" He said, trading blows. "At least _I'll_ leave you to fight another day most of the time!"

They fought for a few more minutes, each striking the other, though they both knew they weren't going for blood this time. Finally, tired from his hits with his cane, she said, "You really weren't gonna rob anything, were you?"

"The truth?" He asked with a grin now sporting some blood, "Yes." He smiled before saying, "But I'd actually changed my mind about this bank."

She pulled back and assessed him. Finally, she nodded.

Offering her his hand, he said, "Walk you to the elevator?"

Batgirl wordlessly passed him her gloved hand. Together, they walked through the door towards them as she said, "I _am_ feeling better. You are like my rocky road."

He chortled and they went into a small elevator. When they reached downstairs, they went their separate ways

THE END


End file.
